Spirituality in Recovery

Many people find that the most significant damage done by abuse is the damage done to their spiritual lives. Difficult questions about God arise frequently. Where was God? Why didn’t God do something to prevent this? Where is God now? Responding to the spiritual distress which these questions represent can be difficult. The biblical text itself recognizes this difficulty — read the book of Job to see examples of ‘friends’ who did a very poor job of responding to spiritual distress. It is unfortunately still common for people to respond to spiritual distress caused by abuse by inappropriately quoting biblical texts (“all things work together for good”) or by blaming the victim (“if God seems at a distance, guess who moved?”) or by implying that their spiritual practices are deficient (“Have you prayed about it?”) or by suggesting that they are at fault for holding on to resentments (“Why are you holding on to this? Put it behind you.”) or by blaming them for their negativity (“You need to stop thinking about such negative things and focus on the positive”). All of these responses represent a kind of abandonment. They are ways to avoid the painful reality of spiritual distress. Job, who experienced a lot of this kind of abandonment, put it well:

“A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends,
even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty.”¹

If abuse leads to spiritual distress–even to forsaking the fear of God–people still need loyal friends. May God grant us the courage to stay loyal to those who those who have suffered spiritually as a result of abuse.